“God may ask you to rise up and lead in ways that will take humility and courage, and Deborah has set the example. But God is with you for every battle you face. The enemy may intimidate you with his strength, but God is able to overthrow him & his schemes.” -Patsy Clairmont.
A year ago, around this time, my health had just taken a drastic turn for the worse. I was completely bed-ridden, unable to eat, unable to shower, unable to do school, unable to babysit, unable to go to church, throwing up consistently, & battling severe abdominal pain. I was enduring test after test, needle after needle, & receiving no answers. It was also around this time God first laid the undeniable call to blog about my journey on my heart, and I replied with a resounding, “no, God! What if no-one reads it? What if I get negative feedback? What if I sound inept and stupid?” The protests went on & on for months….Satan was intimidating me with his lies.
Overtime, every so often, (and in completely unexpected ways) God would remind me of His call, and my protest was always the same. Honestly, I always would naively hope He’d forgotten! (Haha, what a joke, Grace!!) But, as He always does, He won over my anxious heart just a few short weeks ago, an entire year later. Sometimes I forget most people don’t know a fraction of my story. Sure, 90% of my social circle knows I’m chronically sick & struggle a good deal physically, but they don’t know exactly what I have, how its defined, what I’ve gone through, & most importantly, how God has worked through it.
You see, as I was having my quiet time a few weeks ago, I was praying out loud, and I petitioned, “Father, please use me and my experience to point others to You, because if my suffering doesn’t point to You, it is truly for nothing.” Wow. The impact of my words hit me like a massive tractor trailer truck immediately after I said them. “If my suffering doesn’t point to You, it is truly for nothing.” I seriously wonder if God planned that!
So, even as Satan’s lies began to whisper in my ears, I surrendered to the call. The enemy was intimidating me with his strength, but God overthrew his schemes.
I share this because through this blog, I want to tell you my story…the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want to be real and raw. My hope is that through this blog, people can understand these rare disorders better. My hope is this will be a tool to uplift & bless others. My hope is that through sharing what I’ve learned and how God has compassionately shown me His glory as He’s worked in my life, it’ll encourage & speak to even just one single person. Because if I hide my suffering, it is truly for nothing.